


Your awful taste in music

by nopesther



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Crack, Five x Delores is the real otp, I REGRET NOTHING, I'm Sorry, kpop, or do i, this is the fanfiction y'all needed but you just didn't know it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-20
Updated: 2019-03-20
Packaged: 2019-11-26 14:41:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18181937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nopesther/pseuds/nopesther
Summary: AU where everything is the same but Five is a true Kpop stan.ORThe crack fic everyone needs to chill out a bit from Five’s (and the Hargreeves family) shitty life.





	Your awful taste in music

**Author's Note:**

> Please don't hate me for this

“If you really think I’m gonna let you listen to this  _ in my house _ , well you’re fully mistaken,  _ Number One _ .”

Luther looked at his brother with astonishment. Five had just burst into his room (rather appeared given the flash of blue light that had come with his arrival) three minutes before to stop his music from playing, and now he was standing in front of him, looking rather angry.

“Uh… this is not  _ your  _ house.” Luther thought it was necessary to add, “... and can I have my record back, please?” 

Five looked furious, his eyes would probably have shot Luther in the face it they were loaded guns. The boy held the record to his face’s height and frowned, before turning to face Luther again. Then, Five smiled - and Luther knew that it was the most  _ cold  _ smile he had ever seen. 

“No.” said Five, and then he disappeared (in that flash of blue light, again).

 

Five put the record in the trash bin without even looking at it. “Beach Boys my ass.” He muttered before teleporting to his own room. “They’re gonna see what you gotta listen to today. Lemme show that to this bunch of irrelevant pricks who can’t afford themselves fucking decent sound system.” He was getting rather rude now and if Ben had been here, he would have probably reprimanded him. But only Delores witnessed his inappropriate use of language, and Five knew she did not mind - once she had said that it was part of his charm and he had almost blushed.

Five took his Ipod (he had to buy a new one but he had made sure that it was the exact same as the one he used during the apocalypse) and turned the bluetooth device on to connect it to the speaker (he had to buy this one as well but hey, Hargreeves had left some useful things behind him at least)(he was an asshole, but an asshole with money).

“Watch out twats-” Five said before smiling to Delores, “I know you love this one darling, it’s to remind us of the good old times.” And he pressed play.

 

The next thing Diego knew, that fucking famous korean pop band  _ Exo’s  _ single  _ Don’t Mess Up My Tempo  _ was playing really, really loudly in the house - and the worst thing, Diego thought, was that he had recognized it (probably because of the kids he was working with at the education center). “What the fuck,” Diego whispered, looking up at the ceiling, the music still loud despite coming from upstairs. It had nothing to do with Luther’s music, nor Allison’s, nor any of them actually. 

For God’s sake it was  _ fucking KPOP _ playing in the house, that did not make any sense, who in the God blessed Hargreeves family (but Reginald) would listen to KPop?

By the time he had asked himself this question, the music had been moving from upstairs to right next to him - and damn it was so loud. 

“What’s up bitch- well I don’t care actually.” said Five before walking past him without even looking at him, speaker in hand, now loudly playing _ Russian Roulette by Red Velvet _ . Diego could not believe his eyes. He stared at Five’s back, unable to move or say anything because of how startled he was to see his brother like -  _ this _ . 

Five was listening to Kpop.

“What in the freaking hell-”

 

By the time Five had reached the kitchen (he had prefered to walk to it, just so that  _ everyone  _ could listen to his music a little bit longer), the next song was playing: _ DNA by BTS _ . Five made himself a coffee and a peanut butter/marshmallow sandwich and sat while his foot was naturally beating time. He had just took the first bit of his snack when Allison entered the kitchen.

“Oh hey Five, what-” she frowned, “What are you listening to?”

Five just smiled at her, way more nicely than he had to Luther, but it was still an odd smile.

“The only thing I was able to listen to for thirty years.” 

Allison did not hide her puzzled look.

“Delores likes it.” Five said, looking at his dear mannequin, eternally smiling - he took her plastic hand and squeezed it softly. “I got used to it as well - pretty much had to when it was the only thing I could listen to, y’know.”

Allison blinked, then nodded, but really she didn’t not what to say to that. She smiled softly.

“Well that’s cool but - could you lower the volume a bit?”

Five looked annoyed by her request, but he eventually did as she asked.

“Delores never asks me to lower the volume.” He mumbled before disappearing in a flash of blue light.

Allison heard the music coming from upstairs again. She sighed, but she was indubitably smiling.

“Ah teenagers…”

**Author's Note:**

> If you hate me you can yell about it on tumblr (@nopesther) and twitter (@tata_ther)


End file.
